In the summers of 2004 and 2005, we invited the Dead Baby Bike Club down for rides, a tournament, and tours of the city.
"This ancient tallbike has amazingly survived ELEVEN YEARS on the streets & in the rusting pile, despite the fact that it was made by unskilled welders from an inferior design! Join C.H.U.N.K. 666 for a weekend of libations, toasts, riding really tall bicycles, song, human sacrifice, tallbike jousting & organ donation in celebration of the Organ Donor's spunky will to perservere through adversity, drunk riders, & rust!"
The tournament was supported by the usual invaluable functionaries. CJ
was the master of ceremonies, James Yu was the scorekeeper, and
Matthew Hattie Hein was the judge. Billdozer handled the
bracketing. Sara Stout was the medic, and luckily the most drastic
treatments that she had to apply were whisky and bags of ice.
We tried something different this year. A bout wouldn't stop if
neither contestant was knocked off. Instead, dropped lances would be
handed back and the jousters would chase each other. It didn't work
out that well in practice, since a good square frontal hit is needed
to cause a fall, but we got to see a lot of chasing and tight turns.
The champion was Messman, from Seattle. He's not a large guy or
anything, but after being
declared the victor, he would get back on his tallbike and do these
one wheel 180s.
Also, there was a big pile of manure.
Contestants were honored in the sports section of the Oregonian on
April 28, 2004.
We warmed up this year with the Circle of Togetherness.
Teams of three competed to ride the
longest within the circle. After a minute, riders had to stay in
the smaller circle. After a minute and a half, they had to hold one
hand behind their backs. After two minutes, Fred Nemo joined them in the
circle and asked them difficult questions.
No squires were allowed this year, which gave an advantage to
contestants who could build up speed quickly by themselves.
Messman vs. Thud. By now, they've both been softened up a little
climbing up the bracket, but this match lasted a long
time, because neither rider would go down. They had to take a
breather every five bouts or so. Eventually, Messman won.
Thud ended up enduring at least 30 solid hits to the chest that day.
The final match, Messman vs. Krack. Krack's bike had about thirty
pounds of dolls stuck to it, but of course, Messman won.
Yes. Contestants were again honored in the sports section of the
Oregonian on May 3, 2005.
