The Organ Donor Invitational.

In the summers of 2004 and 2005, we invited the Dead Baby Bike Club down for the Organ Donor Invitational tallbike jousting tournaments.

"This ancient tallbike, the second or third bike created by C.H.U.N.K. 666, has amazingly survived ELEVEN YEARS on the streets & in the rusting pile, despite the fact that it was made by unskilled welders from an inferior design! Join C.H.U.N.K. 666 for a weekend of libations, toasts, riding really tall bicycles, song, human sacrifice, tallbike jousting & organ donation in celebration of the Organ Donor's spunky will to perservere through adversity, drunk riders, & rust, Rust, RUST!"

2004.

The Bar Crawl.

It was the Organ Donor's eleventh birthday, so we took him out to all the bars in a fleet of tallbikes, bringing him inside and singing him songs at every stop. The Organ Donor is one of the first C.H.U.N.K. bikes, the first tallbike that we made, and it shows - he's a really crappy bike, badly designed and floppy to ride. Any bike that can survive eleven years in that condition must be honored!

The Tournament.

The tournament was supported by the usual invaluable functionaries. CJ was the master of ceremonies, James Yu was the scorekeeper, and Matthew Hattie Hein was the judge. Billdozer handled the bracketing. Sara Stout was the medic, and luckily the most drastic treatments that she had to apply were whisky and bags of ice.

We tried something different this year. A bout wouldn't stop if neither contestant was knocked off. Instead, dropped lances would be handed back and the jousters would chase each other. It didn't work out that well in practice, since a good square frontal hit is needed to cause a fall, but we got to see a lot of chasing and tight turns.

The champion was Messman, from Seattle. We all wondered what made him so good - he's not a large guy or anything. Then, after being declared the victor, he got back on his tallbike and started freestyling. The dude could hit the front brake, lift the rear wheel, whip it around, and continue riding in the opposite direction.

Contestants were honored in the sports section of the Oregonian on April 28, 2004.

2005.

Marjorie crashed during the bar crawl the night before, and awarded herself a black eye. That's what she gets for being on a normal ride in the middle of a pack of mutant bikes! Those non-mutated bikes are dangerous, because you don't know what to expect!

The Circle Of Togetherness.

We warmed up with a new contest this year, the Circle of Togetherness or whatever you want to call it. Teams of three competed to ride the longest within the circle. After a minute, riders had to stay in the smaller circle. After a minute and a half, they had to hold one hand behind their backs. After two minutes, Fred Nemo joined them in the circle and asked them difficult questions while striking difficult poses.

The Tournament.

Messman vs. Thud. This match was all the more gruelling because they both had been softened up in the previous round. It lasted a long time, because neither rider would go down. They had to take a breather every five bouts or so. Eventually, Messman won. Thud ended up enduring at least 30 solid hits that day.